Mesopotamia's Blog
by Geirdriful
Summary: Hello, this is my blog PLLB WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING I DON'T EVEN WANNA WRITE A BLOG IT'S ALL MY PSYCHIATRIST'S FAULT PLBLEH WHAT DOES SHE MEAN BY MY "MENTAL INSTABILITY" asdfghjkl
1. ARE YOU FREAKING HAPPY NOW?

**Are You Freaking Happy Now?**

Posted: August 29 8:13 PM

* * *

HELLO.  
I LIKE BEER.  
What I did today: I was forced by my mušen-brained sykiatrist (is that how you spell it?) into writing a blog. Apparently this will help my "mental instability."  
PLLLBLEAH.  
Let me tell you this:  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA!  
I also punched Rome.  
Mr Llama punched Rome, too. BEATEN BY A LLAMA SUCKA.  
What the hell is with these "blog" things anyways? From all I've gathered, it's all just mušen-brains venting their stupid feelings on weird moving pictures in freaky boxes on their desks. Why don't they just drink beer, for Enki's sake.

ARE YOU FREAKING HAPPY NOW, MS CAMELHEADED SYKIATRIST?  
PBLEAAAAH.  
MR LLAMA SAYS DAMN YOU.

I like beer.

* * *

**COMMENTS**

* * *

**Ima Rotndoktor**

Perhaps you could try writing more meaningful things, like how you are feeling.

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**Grandpa Rome**

Llamas are more powerful than you think!

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**Ancient Greece**

Why are you still "Grandpa Rome?"

* * *

**Grandpa Rome**

Uhh.

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**Ancient Egypt**

I thought you liked camels.

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**Mesopotamia**

NO! THEY'RE A DISGRACE TO THE LLAMAIDAE FAMILY!

* * *

**Ancient Egypt**

It's called the camelidae family.

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**Mesopotamia**

NO IT ISN'T. PLEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

* * *

**I don't know how this thing popped up.**

**This is pretty much what Mesopotamia turned into when I put him into Correspondence Between Hetalians:**

**- a completely mad drunkard**

**And so he became my favorite OC.**

**Comment?**

**Check out my other stories, too! **


	2. POOP

**POOP.**

Posted: August 30 6:50 PM

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I like llamas.

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**COMMENTS**

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**Ima Rotndoktor**

What is this?

* * *

**Mesopotamia**

You told me to write about my feelings. Those are my feelings towards llamas. BLOOEY.

* * *

**I know he probably wouldn't act like this. Heh.**

**Can anyone help me work out a personality for Britannia? All I know is that she's a she.**


	3. I HATE CHICKENS

**I HATE CHICKENS**

Posted: August 31 11:53 PM

* * *

What I did today: I woke up, ate food, fed Mr Llama, went out to drink beer, ate more food, hung around, ate more food, drank beer, fed Mr Llama again, drank beer and then I forgot what I did afterwards.

Yayy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh yeah and Rome picked on Britannia again and she got mad. It got really messy so eventually God blew his top and broke it up using some kind of freaky godly rays. Rome got thrown across the room and hit one of the angels and she started crying. Then for some reason Britannia just completely froze and kept staring unblinkingly at the weeping angel.

I think she's still there. I've got a bet with Germania.

NEVER EAT BRITANNIA'S CHICKEN IT TASTES LIKE CAMEL CRAP.

asdfghjkl/

* * *

**COMMENTS**

* * *

**China**

It's your own fault. You were the one who decided to raid Britannia's kitchen since she's out being weird.

* * *

**Mesopotamia**

Die.

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**Grandpa Rome **

Yes! Then you can go to Hell and we won't have to deal with you anymore!

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**Ancient Greece**

_[Reply to Grandpa Rome's comment]_**  
**

Aren't you supposed to be in the Naughty Corner?


	4. I had no fun

**I had no fun**

Posted: September 5th 7:52 PM

* * *

I had another psychiatrist's (LEARNED HOW TO SPELL IT, SEE, OLD LADY GREECE! I'M NOT PRIMITIVE!) appointment today.

Rotndoktor rambled on and on and on and on for a few millennia or something so eventually I just got up and left. Then Britannia popped up out of NOWHERE and made me go back inside (what are they doing, GUARDING the place?! It's not like I'm a madman) talking about how it was impolite and I hadn't even paid yet (what the hell did she mean? I left a few empty bottles of beer, recycling is good, isn't it? BRITANNIA'S BLIND).

Yeah, so that's how I spent my afternoon. I spent the morning sleeping (I GOT A NEW RECORD! FIFTEEN HOURS OF SLEEP IN ONE DAY! TWENTY-SEVEN IN TOTAL! HAHAHAHA). Rome's hosting another feast tonight and I don't wanna be late. I think I'll stick a tack on his seat. HA. Serves him right for not inviting me.

BYE BYE.

* * *

**COMMENTS**

* * *

**Ancient Greece**

"Old Lady Greece."

Old. Lady. Greece.


	5. No title

**[No title]**

Posted: September 5th 11:45 PM

* * *

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeegghghjrtryrtyytghgdl/hhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Hhjkg

* * *

**COMMENTS**

* * *

**Ancient Egypt**

I now know what madmen do after Roman feasts.

* * *

**Ancient Greece**

As do I.

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**Germania**

Copy that.

* * *

**Grandpa Rome **

Copy copy that!


	6. Old Lady IDiot!

**Old Lady IDiot.**

Posted: September 7 11:58 AM

* * *

Old Lady Greece is a bully. Old Lady Greece is a bully. Old Lady Greece is a bully. Old Lady Greece is a bully. Old Lady Greece is a bully. Old Lady Greece is a bully. Old Lady Greece is a bully. Old Lady Greece is a bully. Old Lady Greece is a bully.

Bullying means causing physical or psychological harm, right?

Well, today Greece took away my beer. That goes into BOTH categories. It not only causes me physical pain but it also HURTS MY FEELINGS! !

BULLY! ! ! ! !

* * *

**COMMENTS**

* * *

**Ancient Greece**

I took it away because it makes you_ CRAZY_!

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**Grandpa Rome**

Haha! Agree :D

* * *

**Lusitania**

Dipsomaniac.

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**Thracia**

Alcoholic.

* * *

**Noricum**

Boozer.

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**Mesopotamia**

WHAT'S IT WITH YOU !^#$ %&?#! IMPERIAL PROVINCES? ! #%$&^#$

* * *

**Thracia**

We're intelligent. You are stupid.

* * *

**China**

I hate to agree with Wino #2, but...

Weirdos.


	7. I SERIOUSLY DON'T GET IT

**I SERIOUSLY DON'T GET IT.**

Posted: November 29 8:54 PM

* * *

I was in the "Naughty Corner" for three months.

THREE MONTHS!

All I did was give stupid Old Lady Greece a concussion after she tried to take away my beer! It's _my_ beer, anyway!

It's like the Heavenly equivalent of prison. Apparently you're not supposed to have prisons in Heaven so instead they have a "_Naughty Corner!_" RIDICULOUS! It's like we're... we're_ little kids_! GAH.

And of all the names they could've given that place it had to be NAUGHTY CORNER! And why the hell was it there in the first place? Aren't people supposed to honor the deceased and llamas? I've got _BOTH_!

POO.

Oh, yeah.

Reply to Prussia: Haha, thank you! Who the Hell is "Vati?" If that guy turns out to be stupid Greece I'll send my llama army out for blood.

Hell, that "Naughty Corner" was boring. The magazines they have there are completely outdated. The most recent one they have there is from 500 B.C. It's so _stupid_. Who _CARES_ if the Classical Period in Greek culture has just begun? I didn't think people even_ bothered to track those things back then_.

Emos.

* * *

**COMMENTS**

* * *

**Grandpa Rome**

...

* * *

**Britannia**

[_In reply to Grandpa Rome_]

Seriously, why are you still "Grandpa?" We're not all you're grandchildren so it makes it really awkward to type it.

* * *

**Grandpa Rome**

[_In reply to Britannia_]

Because I'm a grandpa! And they're so cute~!

* * *

**Britannia**

[_In reply to Grandpa Rome_]

You sound gay.


	8. MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS

**MERRY LATE CHRISTMA**S  
**Posted**: December 26 10:38 PM

* * *

Yesterday was awesome.

Even Mr. Llama thought it was awesome.

Yesterday God let us Ancients go back to Earth to see our kids/grandkids, and it was really fun.  
I got to see Iraq, and he's grown so much! He's such a little angel now!  
There were a few stupid restricshuns, though, so I didn't get to talk to him.

"Nyah nyah nyah," says God, "You can go, just don't cause an early apocalypse because the world's scheduled to end in the year 5.5/Apple/26, which is five billion years from now and I hate messing up schedules. And don't steal stuff even if it used to be yours (like the mummified remains of Mesopotamia's llamas as I'm sure Mr. Llama won't enjoy seeing... himself... I don't want to, either, at least not up close since I can see that corpse from up here if I want to. Eugh). And don't let anyone recognise you either, since you might start up some kind of Search for Immortality – BAD. … And tell Rome not to pick fights with random people.'  
NYAH NYAH NYAH.

Search for Immortality? LLAMA POO. You want immortality? Just go to Hell. I guess Eternal Punishment counts as Immortality, right?

Blah. I heard Old Lady Greece got around the "don't let anyone recognise you" thing, though. Stupid lady.  
BLARGH.  
I do kind of wonder, though, how that yard brush mustache disguise actually worked. I used to be convinced that the day Old Lady Greece wore anything that old geezer Rome got her would be the day the world ended. I dunno, maybe it did.  
Britannia's spreading this sort of cult everywhere that the world was going to end but some guy called "The Doctor" saved us but it never happened because it's a paradox. That's stupid. Doctors don't do that.  
Whatever, I'll go ask Ereshkigal, she's the only god I see around these days who I trust besides God, and God's pissed at me today for some reason.

And anyway, I thought the world was going to end on December 21st. I'll have to go ask that Mayan Empire creep.

By the way, I did get to leave some presents for my descendants – God never said we weren't allowed to do that.

And there's that jerk China.  
I left some for him too.

ENJOY CHOKING ON CYANIDE TEA YOU FAT JERK YOU! ! !

Yesterday was really fun.

* * *

**COMMENTS**

* * *

**China**

So it was you. And I thought it was America. Though now I suppose he isn't intelligent enough to have done it. Go eat your own llama dung.

* * *

[In reply to China]

**Mesopotamia**

Mr. Llama feels insulted now. I WOULD WATCH MYSELF.

* * *

**Grandpa** **Rome**

Wow! Greece really wore that thing?

* * *

[In reply to Grandpa Rome]

**Ancient Greece**

So what if I did. You make it sound like a cardboard box.

* * *

[In reply to Ancient Greece]

**Britannia**

Haha. And yes, yesterday was fun.

* * *

**Ima Rotndoktor**

Congratulations, Mesopotamia! This is your most thoughtful post yet! Keep it up!

* * *

**Germania**

You still haven't replied to the comments you got yet.

* * *

**Mesopotamia**

Oh, yeah. To Prussia: Maybe. Or maybe not. Dunno, we outta get a llama oracle or something.

* * *

**Germania**

German is a wonderful language. Learn it.

* * *

**Mesopotamia**

KHHK.

* * *

**China**

Iraq's a little angel? Here's a little quote from him: "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BEER! I WANT IT NOW! ! IF IT DOESN'T APPEAR RIGHT NOW THEN I'LL START ANOTHER WORLD WAR! !"  
Or how about this one: "#%*&£€℅©! ! #$&Δ% ÷×√π! ! ΔΔΔΔΔ!"

* * *

**Mesopotamia**

ADOLESENSE.

* * *

**Britannia**

It's "adolescence."

* * *

**Mesopotamia**

ΔΔΔΔΔΔ  
_


	9. New Year huh

**New Year huh**

**Posted:** January 1 4:01 PM

* * *

YIPPEE. NEW YEAR.

YAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

YYYYAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY .

I guess I'm supposed to be happy.

:D

But I'm not.

Rotndoktor says I have to write my "New Year's Resolutions." WELL HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT? And her suggestions didn't help either, "Give up beer?" WHAT? "Don't spoil Mr. Llama so much?" TWO DOZEN CANS OF LLAMA CUISINE A DAY ISN'T SPOILING! That cat of Old Lady Greece's gets crepes and about a _ton_ of tuna every day! Plus a few score pounds of salmon! PSH. And "Try and socialise a bit more?" I'm socialising already! I've got a BLOG! ! I don't need to talk face to face with anyone!

And what makes that resolutions thing even worse?

I've got a hangover.

A real big one.

Stayed up till twelve last night for New Year's and the only way I could do that was by drinking, so there.

Damn you, hangover.

* * *

**COMMENTS**

* * *

**China**

You should've used tea.

* * *

[In reply to China]

**Mesopotamia**

No.

* * *

**Grandpa Rome**

Grandpa has a hangover too...

* * *

**Ima Rotndoktor**

Don't forget, you still have to write your New Year's Resolutions, Mesopotamia!

* * *

**Mesopotamia**

FINE.

LATER.

NEXT YEAR.

* * *

**Grandpa Rome**

GRANDPA'S HANGOVER HURTS. OW.

* * *

[In reply to Grandpa Rome]

**Britannia**

...


	10. Dear God

**Dear God**

Posted: April 20 9:32 PM

* * *

Okay, so I've got a serious philosophical question for God which has been nagging me for the last, oh, four months:

HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET HIT BY AN ATOMIC BOMB IN HEAVEN?

Even more importantly: HOW DO EVEN GET AN ATOMIC BOMB IN HEAVEN?

Even _more_ importantly: HOW DOES A GUY WHO'S NOT EVEN BLASTED DEAD YET GET AN ATOMIC BOMB IN HEAVEN WITH WHICH HE CAN CONDUCT BOMB TESTS ON THE AGED SOUL OF ME?

Mr. Llama is pissed! Literally! So am I! Not literally!

GOD YOU SUCK!

Though you can make up for that by rejecting China's soul when he finally kicks the damn bucket.

WHY THE HELL DOES IT SEEM LIKE I'M JUST GETTING INJURY AFTER MAJOR INJURY LATELY! ? What kind of eternal paradise is this, anyway? I'm stuck here with all the people I fought with back down there... fighting them here too! And guess what? The lucky asses down there alive get nukes, but WE don't get nukes! What've we got _here_? Britannia's cooking, at the worst! And guess what? Through some mutated Ancients connection-BLAH that bastard China can get up here sometimes and NUKE THE FIRST PERSON HE SEES.

STUPID COMMUNIST. GO NORTH KOREA! NUKE THE OLD BASTARD TO TEENY TINY ASHES!

AND NUKE THAT BASTARD GERMANY, TOO. HE AND HIS BROTHER ANNOY ME. THEY GET MORE BEER THAN ME NOW.

DIE.

* * *

**COMMENTS**

* * *

**Grandpa Rome**

Hey, did you know? "Bastard" was my little grandson Romano's first word! Aaah~! It was so cute when he said it! His face was all red and pudgy!

* * *

**Ancient Greece**

[In reply to Grandpa Rome]

Like Mesopotamia's nose when he's dead drunk?

* * *

**Grandpa Rom**e

[In reply to Ancient Greece]

Yeah, kind of, but in a cute way!

* * *

**Mesopotamia**

[In reply to Grandpa Rome]

#$%&*

* * *

**China**

I was testing bombs! You're immortal up there, so it couldn't do any permanent damage.

* * *

**Mesopotamia**

The stupid doctors are taking my beer away since they think I might injure myself since I'm in a "delicate condition" right now "due to a close-range encounter with an atomic bomb from Earth."

DO YOU THINK THAT WON'T DO ANY PERMANENT DAMAGE?

* * *

**Ancient Egypt**

Hey, fun fact: when I was typing "bastard" on my new tablet today the first suggestion that appeared was "CHINA."

* * *

**Britannia**

[In reply to Ancient Egypt]

Cool.

* * *

**China**

[In reply to Ancient Egypt]

Not cool.

* * *

**Mesopotamia**

[In reply to Ancient Egypt]

WHAT! I want a tablet!

* * *

**God**

No.


End file.
